Being a mom and a wife is the most important job in the world. I care about my family more than anything in life and I am a perfectionist with high expectations of myself in this regard. Working to raise our children, homeschool my boys, keep my home clean and organized, keep my husband happy and tolerate my dogs (haha) is a big job. The hugest job in the world. The most important job.

THAT SAID…..

I’ve always been a multi-faceted person with varied interests, “hats” and talents. Although I have not spent a huge amount of time over the last 12 years as someone’s employee, I have spent a huge amount of time freelancing and writing and volunteering in various areas. There are a few areas I am very passionate about and I try to pursue them from various angles online and within my community. I like having money of my own and I like contributing financially to my family, even if it is practically nothing.

But it is more than that. It is also about giving back. Although my interests are as varied as can be - from religion to politics, from birth to adoption, from knitting to education - the commonality is that I’m not satisfied unless I’m helping others, supporting others, giving something to those outside myself, trying my best to make a difference in the areas I think are really important.  Getting paid is a bonus, but not a necessity.

So this past week my last little ounce of giving back came to an end as my job writing for About.com on the topic of Detroit also came to an end. I wasn’t prepared for the feeling of emptiness and dissatisfaction it left me with because, frankly, the job never did much for me besides offer a bit of income and some free local passes. But it was something and I know it made a difference at times and it had my name on it.  

Over the weekend I used a free pass I received to see the movie Peaceful Warrior. I wasn’t going to go. I had never heard of the movie at all. But I was having a really bad day and needed to get out by myself. So I went. All I can say is WOW. It was a profoundly inspirational and moving movie. I am pretty sure many people wouldn’t get it at all but I got it, for sure. It fed my soul, spiritually, which is not an easy accomplishment. It talked to me in the exact ways I needed at the exact moment in time that I most needed to hear. If I were Oprah, I’d say it was an “Aha Moment” (that’s Oprah who says that, right?) but that would be cliche. It was more than that. It was like an old friend coming back to tell me all the things I already knew but had lost along the way, over the years. It was like a road back home, for me. It helped me to put into concrete words and ideas my feelings of dissatisfaction, to pinpoint them and move beyond them into an action plan.

I don’t know what is coming around the bend for me but I’ve gotten a few glimpses today and I feel inspired and encouraged by those I know who are doing things I really admire. I have a feeling the path will open right up to me in ways I was never expecting.  I’m excited and trying not to be too impatient. I know the best plans must unfold themselves and not be rushed. If I have learned one thing in life, that is it! haha. So I’m trusting in that and letting it all unfold.

This entry was posted on Monday, April 2nd, 2007 at 8:33 pm and is filed under Taboo Topics, Venting. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.