A Smallish Update
Is there anything more boring to write about on an adoption and parenting blog than sleep and poop?! And yet you wonderful people keep asking for updates as if you care! Haha!
In the sleep department, I wish I had good news to share. In this case, no news is bad news, ok? In fact, if anything things have gotten progressively worse. Last night I finally threw in the towel after I tried to take her to bed and saw how terrified and angry she was. My new tactic is to just let her call the shots. Before she was on a pretty regular routine - she napped at a solid time, she went to bed at the same time, she woke at regular intervals, etc. Now it is all shot to hell, except her naps really. But there are two areas I refuse to engage in battles over: food and sleep. REFUSE! So she can decide when she’s tired enough to sleep, she can sleep on top of me all night if she wants and at least last night that seemed to work fine. She woke once, all night, and was up for a little bit (under an hour) and that was it. No bottles, no other waking. Eventually maybe we’ll try her room again but for now, it clearly is not what she needs or wants.
In the poop department, we still have not had a full Potty Training Day. We just don’t have a full ANY day we can devote to staying home all day right now, between soccer practices, gymnastics and homeschool activities, we are always on the go. So the new tactic is just to let her be naked when we are home. This is working just fine. Yesterday Addison took herself to the potty many times, including two times to poop which was a Very Big Deal 
I wouldn’t call it an accident-free day, but we are getting there. I think her success rate yesterday was like 90%!
One thing I realized about a 1 year old who wants to potty train is that they don’t get some of the common concepts I used with my other kids. I find myself saying things to Addison like “Tell mama if you have to go potty and do not pee on my bed, ok?” and she nods yes but I don’t think she really gets any of what I just said. That whole “future concept” thing is still a bit above her. Although I will say that she DID tell me she had to go potty while she was on my bed and then she went and peed in her potty. So maybe she knows more than I think? But really it just *feels* ridiculous to tell a 16 month old to tell me if something happens in the future.
It occurred to me last night that maybe there is a direct link between the pottying and the nighttime sleep issues. She FREQUENTLY wakes and says she her word for potty. Last night I was way too tired to even humor such an idea of taking her out to her potty and stripping her down to go pee. Instead I just suggested a diaper change. Maybe she’s waking in the night all the time becuase she has to pee or she just peed and hates the way it feels in her diaper? I don’t know but I tend to look to development to explain night waking and there is nothing that stands out - no teeth, no new talking spree, no physical ability that has come to a head. But there is this potty training thing.
Otherwise Addy is doing well, we haven’t had any serious incidents during the day like I wrote about last week, namely becuase I refuse to let them occur. That doesn’t mean no one leaves, it just means using a little common sense about how and when the departure occurs and not walking out when the baby is hysterical. Duh.
September 25th, 2007 at 12:29 pm
That turned into my naptime philosophy when I realized these were not battles worth fighting - the kid’ll sleep when he’s tired, and if not, I’m over it. No sense in making both of us miserable for an hour of rocking and screaming each afternoon just to get a 45 minute nap. The kid just doesn’t need that much sleep, I guess?! I was MUCH happier, and so was he, when I just let him call the shots. I pay attention to his body language and when he’s tired enough, he’ll sleep.
September 25th, 2007 at 5:46 pm
Poor little Addy. I hope she’s able to overcome her sleep issues soon, for both your sakes! I know it is common for kids to go through attachement issues around 2 years of age, all kids, not just adopted.
I use to be a nanny and cared for 2 little boys. I had been looking after them for about a year, when suddenly the older boy who was about 2 years old now, would scream and cry every time his mum left. There was nothing I could do to settle him down. He did outgrow it though.
September 25th, 2007 at 11:34 pm
Try a sticker chart for the potty training. I made one myself out of construction paper that was seven boxes to a line. When the line was full we would count all seven stickers, and then Sophia would get to pick a prize out of the “grab bag” (gotta love the Target dollar spot!). One month later she was trained and only wears a pull-up at night. People are amazed, but I just followed her lead.
Also, I do not fight the sleep/night time battle. By all means I am not a “progressive parent”, but some battles are just not worth fighting. Sophia just totally freaks out at night if I try to get her to sleep in her own room alone. I mean FREAKS OUT when left by herself. So not worth the trama that it causes her.