Comments on: Remnants: Part 1 http://www.steppingonlegos.com/2008/04/08/remnants-part-1/ Adventures in Life, Love and Laundry Mon, 06 Oct 2008 21:31:48 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.1 By: Natalie Koprowski http://www.steppingonlegos.com/2008/04/08/remnants-part-1/#comment-8957 Natalie Koprowski Wed, 16 Apr 2008 00:22:00 +0000 http://www.steppingonlegos.com/2008/04/08/remnants-part-1/#comment-8957 Hi I just found your blog through Jacks blog. We adopted twins from Vietnam at 5 mos, who are now 18 mos. Your daughter sounds exactly like one of our twins. When we first picked her up she was very different than her sister. Never cried, rarely smiled and wouldn't make eye contact. It just amazes me how similar she seems to your daughter. We took them to see Santa Claus, Chloe freaked out and Taylor just sat there and looked at him. I worry about her all the time, I feel like because she was considered an "easy baby" at the orphanage she didn't get held for the first 5 mos. How old was your daughter when you picked her up? And by the way she is absolutely beautiful! Hi I just found your blog through Jacks blog. We adopted twins from Vietnam at 5 mos, who are now 18 mos. Your daughter sounds exactly like one of our twins. When we first picked her up she was very different than her sister. Never cried, rarely smiled and wouldn’t make eye contact. It just amazes me how similar she seems to your daughter. We took them to see Santa Claus, Chloe freaked out and Taylor just sat there and looked at him. I worry about her all the time, I feel like because she was considered an “easy baby” at the orphanage she didn’t get held for the first 5 mos. How old was your daughter when you picked her up? And by the way she is absolutely beautiful!

]]> By: rainbowmom http://www.steppingonlegos.com/2008/04/08/remnants-part-1/#comment-8916 rainbowmom Mon, 14 Apr 2008 02:52:30 +0000 http://www.steppingonlegos.com/2008/04/08/remnants-part-1/#comment-8916 I'm just so proud that you could even post pictures of Addy IN the dental chair! haha!!! This was a great post! I’m just so proud that you could even post pictures of Addy IN the dental chair! haha!!!

This was a great post!

]]> By: Carissa http://www.steppingonlegos.com/2008/04/08/remnants-part-1/#comment-8909 Carissa Sun, 13 Apr 2008 20:44:33 +0000 http://www.steppingonlegos.com/2008/04/08/remnants-part-1/#comment-8909 I love those pictures and thanks for the very thoughtful post! I love those pictures and thanks for the very thoughtful post!

]]> By: Sherri http://www.steppingonlegos.com/2008/04/08/remnants-part-1/#comment-8902 Sherri Sun, 13 Apr 2008 05:54:31 +0000 http://www.steppingonlegos.com/2008/04/08/remnants-part-1/#comment-8902 What a big girl sitting up in her sunglasses. I just love all those pics in the bluebonnets. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I always look forward to your posts. Can't wait to hear the next. What a big girl sitting up in her sunglasses. I just love all those pics in the bluebonnets. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I always look forward to your posts. Can’t wait to hear the next.

]]> By: rachel http://www.steppingonlegos.com/2008/04/08/remnants-part-1/#comment-8900 rachel Sat, 12 Apr 2008 21:57:25 +0000 http://www.steppingonlegos.com/2008/04/08/remnants-part-1/#comment-8900 I often find myself wondering about nature vs. nature. From the big things like attachment, to the small things...like how Ava doesn't like chocolate - that is definitely NOT an environment thing. ;) Sera has a little of a "focused and fearless" personality, too. If told to do something, she does it immediately and without question. I have no doubt it is from the living in the orphanage, as the nannies ran a very tight ship. Slowly, but surely she has started loosening up and her true personality is starting to shine through. I suppose none of us will ever really know the extent to which nature and nurture affect our children. All we can do is our best and then watch them unfold. Oh, and YAY for no cavities! I often find myself wondering about nature vs. nature. From the big things like attachment, to the small things…like how Ava doesn’t like chocolate - that is definitely NOT an environment thing. ;)

Sera has a little of a “focused and fearless” personality, too. If told to do something, she does it immediately and without question. I have no doubt it is from the living in the orphanage, as the nannies ran a very tight ship. Slowly, but surely she has started loosening up and her true personality is starting to shine through.

I suppose none of us will ever really know the extent to which nature and nurture affect our children. All we can do is our best and then watch them unfold.

Oh, and YAY for no cavities!

]]> By: Traci http://www.steppingonlegos.com/2008/04/08/remnants-part-1/#comment-8875 Traci Fri, 11 Apr 2008 05:12:01 +0000 http://www.steppingonlegos.com/2008/04/08/remnants-part-1/#comment-8875 Nicki, I am so glad I decided to read your blog tonight. When we first got Lilly from foster care I would tell everyone what a happy baby she was. She could play for hours and never demand a thing. Now though I realise that it is a product of her past neglect. She is just starting to be demanding with us and I am so thankful she feels she can do that. Nicki,

I am so glad I decided to read your blog tonight. When we first got Lilly from foster care I would tell everyone what a happy baby she was. She could play for hours and never demand a thing. Now though I realise that it is a product of her past neglect. She is just starting to be demanding with us and I am so thankful she feels she can do that.

]]> By: Laurie http://www.steppingonlegos.com/2008/04/08/remnants-part-1/#comment-8874 Laurie Fri, 11 Apr 2008 04:34:46 +0000 http://www.steppingonlegos.com/2008/04/08/remnants-part-1/#comment-8874 Nicki, you hit on such an interesting topic that so many of us seem to wonder about. I truly believe those early life experiences do so much to shape personality, but I also know there are certain aspects to our kids' personalities that are hardwired. I think there's something inherent in each of our kids that makes them handle institutionalization differently. Some kids withdraw and become more guarded, and that embeds in their personality. Other kids become charismatic and charming in order to garner more attention from caregivers, and perhaps they carry that trait along with them after. Some kids respond to orphanage life by toughening and developing early independence, others by melting down easily and maintaining a clinginess. I have seen my own siblings deal with abuse and adversity in such a range of ways, and I believe they are who they are because of a combination of nature and nurture. Thanks for a fascinating topic and an honest post. Addy is so damn cute, and I've never seen anything like that picture of her in her sunglasses with dental instruments in her mouth! She's the picture of "coolness." Nicki, you hit on such an interesting topic that so many of us seem to wonder about. I truly believe those early life experiences do so much to shape personality, but I also know there are certain aspects to our kids’ personalities that are hardwired. I think there’s something inherent in each of our kids that makes them handle institutionalization differently. Some kids withdraw and become more guarded, and that embeds in their personality. Other kids become charismatic and charming in order to garner more attention from caregivers, and perhaps they carry that trait along with them after. Some kids respond to orphanage life by toughening and developing early independence, others by melting down easily and maintaining a clinginess. I have seen my own siblings deal with abuse and adversity in such a range of ways, and I believe they are who they are because of a combination of nature and nurture.
Thanks for a fascinating topic and an honest post. Addy is so damn cute, and I’ve never seen anything like that picture of her in her sunglasses with dental instruments in her mouth! She’s the picture of “coolness.”

]]> By: Susan http://www.steppingonlegos.com/2008/04/08/remnants-part-1/#comment-8872 Susan Fri, 11 Apr 2008 03:47:34 +0000 http://www.steppingonlegos.com/2008/04/08/remnants-part-1/#comment-8872 First of all, love the photos of Addy. She's so beautiful -- as are all of your children. Second, I'm totally with you on the whole dentist issue. I know EXACTLY how you feel. And lastly, I guess I didn't expect to read this about Addison. In so many ways Petunia seems to be following in Addy's footsteps, and each post you write about her gives me a little glimpse of what I can expect in a few months from my kiddo. It was odd to finally read a post that allowed me no opportunity to find similarities between our daughters. The nature vs. nurture is something that's also in the back of my mind constantly. I agree with you that both are likely at play here, as well as in most situations. Thanks for posting this -- can't wait to read the rest of your thoughts. First of all, love the photos of Addy. She’s so beautiful — as are all of your children. Second, I’m totally with you on the whole dentist issue. I know EXACTLY how you feel. And lastly, I guess I didn’t expect to read this about Addison. In so many ways Petunia seems to be following in Addy’s footsteps, and each post you write about her gives me a little glimpse of what I can expect in a few months from my kiddo. It was odd to finally read a post that allowed me no opportunity to find similarities between our daughters. The nature vs. nurture is something that’s also in the back of my mind constantly. I agree with you that both are likely at play here, as well as in most situations. Thanks for posting this — can’t wait to read the rest of your thoughts.

]]> By: Kelli http://www.steppingonlegos.com/2008/04/08/remnants-part-1/#comment-8871 Kelli Fri, 11 Apr 2008 02:49:45 +0000 http://www.steppingonlegos.com/2008/04/08/remnants-part-1/#comment-8871 Thanks Nicki for this honest post. I have SO much to learn. Thank you for (yet again) giving me something to think about. Can't wait to read the upcoming posts! Thanks Nicki for this honest post. I have SO much to learn. Thank you for (yet again) giving me something to think about. Can’t wait to read the upcoming posts!

]]> By: Jennifer http://www.steppingonlegos.com/2008/04/08/remnants-part-1/#comment-8866 Jennifer Thu, 10 Apr 2008 21:02:04 +0000 http://www.steppingonlegos.com/2008/04/08/remnants-part-1/#comment-8866 this post brought tears to my eyes. I'm not adopted, but I pretty much raised my self and reacted in many of the ways that you have described. The strengths she has will serve her well in so many ways, but she is so very lucky to have a loving family to kiss away the pain and offer help any time that she needs it....and to allow her to just be a kid. this post brought tears to my eyes. I’m not adopted, but I pretty much raised my self and reacted in many of the ways that you have described. The strengths she has will serve her well in so many ways, but she is so very lucky to have a loving family to kiss away the pain and offer help any time that she needs it….and to allow her to just be a kid.

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