Baby Borrowers
Have any of you caught this new reality show featuring a cast of teen “couples” who hope to start a family sooner rather than later? They are given babies to borrow for 3 days, then toddlers, then pre-teens, teens and finally the elderly. You know I totally had to tune in.
My first impression of the show was that the parents who allowed their tiny babies to be on that show are just nuts. I don’t know if they are being paid something but at a minimum I hope they are reimbursed the therapy costs! haha. I just felt SO bad for those babies. They were at that separation and stranger anxiety stage, they were thrust into unfamiliar homes and cribs with unfamiliar caregivers for several DAYS! While their safety was covered by on-site nannies whose job it was to intervene in the case of an emergency (!!) and hidden cameras that the parents, staying in nearby homes, could watch from with the option to intervene at any time, none of that really addressed the psychological implications of running social experiments on totally clueless infants. Probably the children will be fine now that they are reunited with their parents. It was a one-time thing and only a few days. But still, I sure wouldn’t be volunteering my own baby, ever!!!
I also sort of felt like most of the parents were a little clueless. They were blaming teething, hunger, bad “parenting” on their children’s crying and unhappiness and maybe those things were factors but HELLO - achom’s razor, people! Let’s not overlook the obvious: these babies were probably totally disoriented and at least a little freaked out! This wasn’t like dropping the babes off with grandma for a weekend!
Two of the teens did awesome and I actually think that for one of the couples the goal of the show was sort of lost because the girl was in love with her baby and did a terrific job! She talked about how “bonded” she felt to the baby (after ONE day!!! ha) and how great mothering made her feel! So much for talking the kids out of parenthood through experience! The rest of the kids were total messes. Is that really how almost-adults are these days? Or were these the worst of the worst, hand picked by the casting crew for their ridiculous inability to take care of even themselves much less another human life? I don’t know if I was that much of a mess when I was 17 but I almost felt like calling my ex and asking him and apologizing if I was! haha.
But speaking of the social experiemental angle of it all, it is just unrealistic from beginning to end. First of all, who among us was gifted a huge brand new house, fully furnished, and a car to start our families off with? And food. And a job we didn’t even have to interview for? And how can it be an even remotely realistic experiment when teens don’t also have the benefit of growing and bonding with a child through pregnancy, the pain of childbirth, those early days of learning each other’s needs? Basically what they were doing was babysitting for a few days. There was no parenthood involved.
I can semi-relate to these kids because I definitely wanted children at their age and, indeed, my first child was born when I was just 19. But had I been put through this social experiment I’m fairly sure my response would have been “I still want a baby but I sure don’t want to be a nanny - EVER!”. haha. In fact, to be honest, I WAS a nanny at that age and DID get to spend my days in a huge lovely house with a wonderful Lexus to tote the kids around in to Gymboree without having to pay the bills and I didn’t love it and learned a lot about how NOT to raise or treat my own kids when I had them and the longer I was around other people’s crazy kids, the more I wanted my own so I could do it right and really enjoy them. So, from my own first hand experience, I can see the experiment backfiring for some. It did for me. I was always wise enough to recognize the innately contrived parts of my experience (the house, the car, the endless food supply) and the challenges and differences (and positives and benefits) that doing it myself would bring. And boy did I have challenges! But boy did I have all those positives and benefits and even more! I can’t say I’d have done it another way if I had it to do over again! Good thing I’m not working on that show, I guess 
That said, I look forward to the next few episodes for no other reason than the comedic value!!! It doesn’t seem so cruel when the kids thrust into the new environment are older, wiser, more cunning and more likely to play into it!!! ha. At the end, I think the show will manage to break up a few crappy teen relationships, maybe it will prevent a few pregnancies. But ultimately I think it will teach these kids to NEVER become nannies or work in daycare! ha.
July 3rd, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Okay. I am so glad that I’m not the only one who was thinking these things. Of course the babies were crying. They didn’t know who those “parents” were or where they were. It isn’t really realistic, but I do love bad reality tv.
July 3rd, 2008 at 1:05 pm
I can’t believe I forgot to watch that show last night. I have been excited to see it ever since I saw the previews. Ugh.
July 3rd, 2008 at 1:47 pm
I totally avoided the show because I don’t like the premise of taking innocent babies and giving them to clueless teens just for the entertainment value. And I agree with you… I worked in an in-home daycare and did a ton of babysitting in my teens and what I got from it was I wanted my *own* kids so I could parent them my way. Probably not the “goal” of the show… (though we all know the real goal is ratings, they could care less about any good lessons coming out of it).
July 3rd, 2008 at 3:14 pm
I haven’t been watching it, for the same reasons you and Christina mentioned, plus I just plain lost track of it, but now I might have to check it out. As has been said, I do love some bad reality tv and about all I can manage to watch these days is anything I don’t have to pay close attention to in order to keep up… I have a feeling I’ll love it and hate it all at the same time and have most of the same thoughts as you!
July 3rd, 2008 at 4:18 pm
I completely felt the same way! I couldn’t believe that people would give their babies for this experiment, no matter if they were monitoring from somewhere close by. No one knows what that will do to the babies. It seemed absurd to me, and frankly, I refused to watch it because it made me mad for the babies who were put through this obviously with no say in the matter (hell they can’t talk yet!) and for making teen parents look completely clueless. I’m not advocating teen parenting, but I was one, and a DAMN good one at that! To me the show is such a sham. I won’t be watching.
July 3rd, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Exactly what I thought. Entertaining, yes, but completely frustrating and unrealistic. And there is no way in hell I would hand my kids over to teenagers. I have respect for teens in general, and as far as short-term babysitting goes, that’s all fine and dandy, but good grief never would I volunteer my child for THREE DAYS. But I probably will watch it again to see them take on the older kids.
July 3rd, 2008 at 7:20 pm
That is great! I have not watched the show, but thought the same thing you did when I saw the previews - who are these people that would let their kids go through the trauma?!? I will check out the show next week…it sounds interesting and I can’t wait to see how they handle some wise-cracking teen.
July 3rd, 2008 at 7:31 pm
One other thing…about handing your kids off to strangers…I am shelter home for a crisis nursery and I regularly have children (who have never met me) in my home for 3 days at a time. I rarely have problems like what you describe the babies in the show going through. I usually have siblings…usually one infant and one toddler at a time. I’m obviously an experienced parent in comparison to the teens, but it makes me even more interested in checking the show out.
July 3rd, 2008 at 9:54 pm
I can’t believe I missed it! I had wanted to watch. I swear, I don’t really watch much television any more. Sad. I wanted to watch b/c I too was SHOCKED that anyone would allow their babies to be used like that. IMO, that’s not normal. I’m thinking that these parents were blaming things like teething and being hungry for their children’s “abnormal” behavior b/c they’re that, um, slow. I mean, they did allow their babies to be used on a television show, under the care of complete strangers for THREE days, after all. Makes sense that they’d have no idea why their babies were acting out of character. I can’t wait to watch the next show. I love your “take home” message, by the way. You’re too funny.
July 4th, 2008 at 11:37 am
No one is borrowing my baby!
July 5th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
I didn’t watch that show because I knew I would feel so sorry for the infants and toddlers. I think that must have been terrifying for them and I can not believe a single parent would willingly put their child through such trama all to be on tv or money.
I was also a nanny right out of high school! I lived in NJ with a single mom and her kid.
July 5th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Uhhh I was soo mad at some of those kids… and the babies parents! There was only 1 baby that seemed like he was cooping ok and he happened to have it seemed an ok “wanna be mom” I was so upset and tense watching these little babies cry and be scared. I agree completely with you and also am looking forward to the next shows where the older kids take over hehehehe!!
July 5th, 2008 at 5:46 pm
First thing I said when my friend wanted me to watch it with her was, ” Okay, I’ll go watch these totally discombobulated basbies be taken away from their parents and tortured in the care if irresponsible tenns.” She said, “Okay lets go watch it.” Hello, Ever heard of the word Sarcastic? I agree with you wholeheartedly in that I would hate to be a parent- or a baby - on that show!